Falling from Heaven

We could not fly due to the volcanic ash from Iceland. That was on the 17th April.
I had a spring holiday with my children　in Japan, which was a year and a half from the last one. On the 5th April I went to Narita, after having finished all the work, to meet my children who flew from Europe on their own for the first time.

Then we had a week of a jet lag. It was difficult for them and for me. There are many things I would like them to eat and things I wanted to do for them. But, nothing would taste good when your stomach clock is at four o'clock in the morning. Neither sashimi, misoshiru, nor tonkatsu taste good. Delicious food is nice to eat, but can be heavy on our stomachs.
Despite our jet lag, there were many people who wanted to see us and I wanted my children to see by arranging schedules. Everybody welcomed us warmly. Children who were in the class which Michiko attended for about one month in summer when she was 6years old , visited us. They are now in 1st year of senior high school. I thought there was not much contact then, so I was pleased to see that they were walking together in the street and being absorbed in talking in the living room at my house. I was worried about my daughter's Japanese, but she seemed to manage somehow. Then I thought, as a parent, they didn't treat my daughter as a foreigner.

It was spring. However, this April we had spring storms, then all of a sudden got surrounded by nice crisp spring weather. We shuddered with cold as we had left all of our winter clothing behind. However, the outside air and the fresh green were nice and crisp and there were no mosquitoes. We shared the nice feeling of nature's impressive renewal.

"The airports are closed."
When I first heard this unprecedented news, I took it lightly and thought "Well, I have extra days for fun!" But the situation changed quickly as this lasted 2days and 3days, telephone calls became disconnected, and it became clear that no clear schedule was foreseeable. Everybody worried about us. "How difficult it must be. What will you do?" But there was nothing we could do.!!

My children, who were supposed to go to school from Monday, felt good about this unexpected and unavoidable holiday, but deep down worried because everybody else would start school. They were irritated and communicated frequently by e-mail. I thought I should be sympathetic to them, and should not show that I myself was pleased. There seemed to be several other children who could not go home.

I thought of various possibilities if this situation lasted very long.
If this happened, we would live in Japan, and I would need to look for a job and schools for my children. We would say goodby to the days that we came and went back by plane, which I took for granted for the last 30years. I would fall into the natural behaviour that people have to stay in the same place if a volcano erupts. Europe is far away.

When our jet lag came to an end, my children were getting used to the environment and started speaking Japanese, and my speaking and thinking were getting smoother. I hadn't been abroad properly until the age of 22, so my English, French and Dutch, which I started at the age of 50, are in no way perfect. I thought that the movement of hands and fingers was directly linked to the brain, so that I can move my fingers better in Japanese than any other languages.
I have an inferiority complex somewhere and always feel inadequacy about living in a foreign country. In the process of cultivating my career, getting married, and taking care of my family, I think I might not have been really ready or committed. That is the way I feel. This Iceland volcano scatters ash from the sky and might blow off all these private concerns. Anyway, it is a natural phenomenon, nobody can complain.

In the middle of these self conversations, I enjoyed this sudden emptiness. I felt fully relaxed mentally and physically by going out for fun, and suddenly felt my heart freeze when my sister told me that planes had resumed flying.

According to my husband, the sky was blue and there were no clouds and no airplanes in Brussels. It sounded fairly ominous. From our residence on the 10th floor, we usually see several planes and many contrails. The seriousness of the situation was stressed by this ironical contrast that it was clear in Brussels, which happened very rarely. The eruptive crater in the newspaper looks like a skeleton.

In wartime, one might think Siberian railway, or a ship. My mother's home is so comfortable that I think I wouldn't dare to take these means to go back to Europe. Of course we are disturbing the quiet lives of my mother and my sister.
Even though there are some troublesome things, it is far better than spending days in an airport, which would bring me utmost discomfort. I thought I had to avoid that situation by all means, because I have had plenty of terrible experiences in various airports for different reasons like the mist which prevented flights, strikes and so on.
It is beyond my imagination how difficult it was to survive during and after the war.

There are all sorts of ways to spend time. Everything depends on my mind. I can enjoy the green of trees every day, and also non-existent concerts and students, and I am with my children!

What was falling from the sky was not ash, but an unexpected holiday for me!

We went to watch Kabuki in Shinbashienbujyo. In the sweet wind of spring, we also walked around Ginza at night. On the following day, I met with the friends whom I did not expect to meet, thanks to the cancelled flight. I enjoyed sightseeing, like Tsukiji, Hamarikyu, and Asakusa by a floating bus on the water. Every time I went through the Rainbow Bridge, I thought that again I could not come to see Tokyo bay by ship this time again. The scenery upon which I looked down from the bridge, and the Rainbow Bridge looking up from the river, mingled into one in my mind.
Tokyo is beautiful!

Though cherry blossoms along the Sumida River had finished, five carp streamers were swimming leisurely with the Five-Story Pagoda in the background.

And Michiko is now 16 years old.
She experienced Kimono for the first time in the fresh green.

We went back to Brussels one week behind the original schedule.
My children looked relieved when they heard that fights were to be resumed.

A holiday was a holiday.

I think there is a clear difference between the speed of an airplane and human senses. I always feel that, after a trip between Japan and Europe, there is not only jet lag but as a living creatures, we also need certain buffer time in that place. That time seems boring, as I am too tired to concentrate on anything. It takes at least four days and sometimes one week, to come back to normal conditions. I walk and mobilize my body in order to get used to a place.

I went to a Sunday market after a long interval. When I saw faces I knew, they told me, "You're back, you were lucky to have extended holidays". In Japan people told me "I am sorry for you that you cannot go back" and they sympathized, partly because of Japanese faithfulness.

Now my life starts again.