I Create an Oasis Myself

I performed Dutilleux's "Tree of Dreams" (L'arbre des songes) in Nagoya.

It was an urgent request with only one week for preparation. Though I played this piece about 10 years ago, I had forgotten it completely. I wondered how I played it from memory then.

As the days went on, my memory and finger movements revived, and various bits and pieces started falling together.

It is quite a task to prepare a 25-minute concerto, but there was a long trip on top of that. After a 14-hour flight with transfers, I arrived in the morning. I took a brief rest, and then rehearsed with an orchestra in the afternoon. The period for adjustment, for which I always had a few days in the past, is getting shorter. For one thing, I try to depart at the latest possible moment for my children. For another, I need to spare time for my students. For their final exams, I taught them on the day before my departure. The other day, I arrived in Paris in the morning from Japan, and went straight to my school.

The two-day rehearsal went very smoothly. I performed on the first day. The balance between violin and orchestra is difficult, because the orchestration is very dense. I said "I will ask Mr. Dutilleux to tone down the dynamics by two notches, if I see him again." The same story goes for Alban Berg's concerto as well. When his widow first listened to the piece, of which Berg himself did not have a chance to listen to a live performance, she judged that the orchestra part was too loud. Though the score remains unchanged,　I heard this story at Marlboro from an eyewitness some years ago. Since then, I have always requested the orchestra to play mezzo piano on this piece when the score indicates forte.

The second day, I felt that we, the orchestra and I, had a good grasp of the music. I realized that I could watch the conductor. I usually memorize the orchestra parts for my performances, but I could not manage it this time because of very limited time.
It occasionally happens that a soloist cannot watch the conductor.

It was hectic but I fully enjoyed the time fully devoted to myself.
It is a nice aspect of a concert tour.

The previous weekend, I had played at a salon with about 80 people in the audience.
This time I performed in a big hall with 1800 seats.

Both are the same experience for me.

I continue to perform led by "communication" and "belief".
The former is external, and the latter internal.

Without these, concerts or music cannot exist.

We cannot avoid some stress.

An "oasis" in the interludes is something I find myself.

My mother came from Tokyo to listen to my concert. My friends dropped by during the trip from Kyoto to Tokyo. My manager also came.

Friends, who are studying for exams, are looking forward to seeing me after the exams.

Now then, I start preparing my next pieces.　(It's time to start preparing my next pieces.)

However, I cannot forget Dutilleux easily, and it still sounds in my brain.
It is a beautiful piece, with the vivid sound of the violin, and musically superb.

I feel like playing it more and more.

I wonder. It might be 10 years before I play it again.