Fifty Roses

I turned 50 the other day.
I can't believe it.
There was not much of a difference between that day and the day before.
In Japan, the common view is that birthdays are not that important when one has grown up. Here in Europe, people try not to forget birthdays of family and friends and do something special, because one's birthday is a more individual thing than New Year or Christmas.
There are calendars for that purpose and people often put them up in toilets. In this way, birthdays are not forgotten easily, because we see them every now and then.

There are many who hold big parties celebrating their 50th birthdays, like those for Kanreki (60th birthday) in Japan.　It is the time when one's career and the social positions that come with it are at their peak.
In their private lives, most people at age 50 have a family of some sort. Single people also have various contacts like friends, relatives and parents. There are people who view this occasion as a great opportunity.

Until a certain age, to age simply means to get older.
At fifty, I cannot say I am getting older.
Although as my grey hair has increased, I have to admit that I am at the beginning of an old age, as anyone else might do.

However, my state of mind has remained unchanged from the past. I can sense the feelings of different ages such as teens like my children, 20s like my students, 30s like my friends and people in their 40s, who are very close to me. I might not understand, but am able to sense the feeling of being close to 80, like my mother.

I think it's like this for everyone, no matter how old they are.
Recently, interviewers tend to ask me whether I have tried any anti-aging methods.
When I answer no, they continue to ask about specific things like menopause, gum disease, and wrinkles. They might say I appear to have put on weight and ask if my metabolism has fallen. I am touched by their concern.
I think it is only natural that one gets older. So I do not dye my grey hair or try to hide my wrinkles. I show my face as it is.
There are people who, due to their profession, cannot afford to show signs of the aging process. In my case, I am lucky to be able to show my talent in a different field.

When it comes to playing the violin, it might have been easier when I was younger in terms of finger speed. But I personally look back at what I did when I was young as a series of nonsensical practices because I did not understand how to grasp the music, nor did I know how to play it properly.

Physical capabilities have become clear in the course of time, i.e. what I can do and what I cannot.

On the other hand, what I want to achieve musically has become so much clearer than before.

This is one advantage of getting older.

On my 50th birthday, my husband appeared with 50 roses.
There were many beautiful colors, but even more than that, I was impressed by their sheer volume.

A few days later, I rearranged them.
After I took the roses out of their original vase, I couldn't fit them all back in. I gave away the extra ones.

I cut the stems, sorted out the leaves and put the remaining roses into neat bundles. They fit perfectly into four vases. They were gorgeous when they were placed in the rooms of each family member.

It occurred to me that maybe this is the meaning of getting older.